What Not To Do in Fanfiction
by Ragged Mountains
Summary: A guide to what I think should be avoided when writing a fanfiction story if you want to get and keep readers.
1. Summary

A/N: As I go through all the stories on this site I realized that there are somethings that make me pass on a story and that 1/2 of these things aren't related to the plot or characters. So I have made a guide on things that should be avoided. I realize some of these things don't bother people, that's great- just don't read it then.

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**The Summary**

This is one of the smallest and most important parts of a story, it's also fairly simple. However there are a few things that should be avoided:

**"Not a Mary-Sue." **If you have this in your summary you're certain to turn off some readers because nothing say's 'there's a Mary-Sue here' like denying it. It's true 76% of the time. On another note, did you know that 93% of people will believe anything with a percent in it?

**"First time writer, no flames/be gentle!"** This message, if it is even typed, should go in an author's note. Saying that you're a new author just makes you seem like a poor writer trying to make excuses and feeds the flamers.

**"Not good at writing a summary, I promise that it's a good story!"** No, just no. If you are incapable of writing a summary you make it seem like you can't manage story either. I understand that it can be difficult to write a summary but you have to try to without putting filler in.

**Grammar** If your summary doesn't have proper capitalization, punctuation, spelling, and basic grammar then odds are that they can't be found in your story either. Personally, if a summary has really poor grammar I won't even give the story a chance, no matter how interesting it sounds I'll just move on. So don't let this be you! Especially since most of these stories could be good, I just can't be bothered to spend the effort to decipher them.***

**Caps Lock** There is no need to scream your summary in other peoples faces, it doesn't make your story any better and makes that little voice in my head shout. You don't want the little voice to go hoarse do you?

A/N: Review and tell me what makes you write off a story and I might put it in a later chapter!

***Hypocrite alert


	2. Layout

**Format**

The layout of the story can affect how many people read your story and sometimes send them running before they actually read. Come on, use that common sense people.

**Blocks **For the love of all that is decent in this or any other world _don't have huge blocks of text_! Separate your dialog, use line breaks, and (for I have come across this) use the space bar in between words! If you have ginormous text blocks, chances are people just skim or skip 'em, I know I do. To avoid this don't over describe things and don't stick huge chunks of backstory into your story, 85% of the time nobody is going to read any of it anyway.

**Empty Air **This is the opposite of the block, it is when writers feel the need to put either one word or an ellipse on a line to build suspense. This can be okay if it's to make a point or it's a short piece of dialog and is not over used, just don't have huge chunks of your story filled with Empty Air. No one wants to have to scroll for three years just to finish a sentence.

**The Teeny-Tiny Chapter **Now this might just be me, But I hate those super-small chapters. They either seem like filler chapters or are too short to get the plot flowing smoothly because it takes longer to get to the next chapter than it does to read one..

**Author's Notes **This should only be found at the beginning or end of a chapter and, please, don't make this be 1/2 of a chapter.

b. The other no-no is interrupting your own story to point something out, just number these places and address them at the bottom otherwise you interrupt the flow of the story. If you think about it, it's the same as stopping yourself mid-conversation to comment on something that you just said.

***Yes I know that these chapters are super short, however this is not a proper story therefore the plot can't be interrupted.

A/N: Review and tell me what makes you write off a story as no good and I'll try to put it in a later chapter!


	3. Basic Facts of the Story

A/N: I was given a couple more that fit into this chapter and rather than make a second chapter I decided to replace the old one with this one. A few other ideas I was given will go into the next chapter which will deal more with character interaction, namely relationships.

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Facts of the Story:

The basic information of a story should always match the story its self or you will confuse people. Though one would think that this is rather obvious, common sense is rare on the internet.

**Title** The title of a story should always relate to the story its self, if the title doesn't match up expectations will be crushed. Titles aren't the most difficult thing to come up with so don't try to make a title so interesting, it will just end up being unrelated to the story. (submitted by PotterAllTheWay64)

**Summary** Just like with the title the summary should match the story and provide some information on it. Despite the fact that 'summary' means a brief statement or account of the main points of something (Yes, that is the dictionary definition) I have come across stories where the summary does not have anything to do with the story. Normally these are random humor fics that want more readers but some are actual stories that just have random summaries.

**Genre** When you submit your story you have to choose it's genre, pick the right one. It is extremely annoying to think that you are reading a humor/parody and end up with a romance/drama or a horror/romance or something. (submitted by Thunder Krystal)

**OOC** If characters act completely out of character in your story be sure to include a warning that your story is AU or slightly AU or just put 'Characters will be OOC'. When reading a fic you should be able to have a reference for how the characters will act otherwise the reader ends up feeling like either they missed something or that you don't know enough about the characters to write them properly. (submitted by belleoftoronto)

**Rating** There aren't exactly thousands to choose from: K, K+, T, and M. so please pick the right one, I mean what if an innocent smallish child goes to read your rated K story only to find a lemon? You will have mentally scarred a little person and you don't want that do you?

**Grammar** Grammar and spelling are just as important in you actual story as they are in your title and summary. In many cases reading a story with poor grammar and spelling is like stabbing yourself with pins: painful and pointless. All forms of spell/grammar check are friends, as are beta readers. Don't ignore them, it'll make them lonely. (submitted by G. Novella)

**Bashing** If you are going to bash a character in your story make sure you say so either in the summary or in an authors note early on. It's no fun to be reading a story only to come upon merciless bashing of a character that you like. (submitted by G. Novella)

A/N: Review and tell me what makes you write off a story as no good and I'll try to put it in a later chapter!


	4. Relationships

A/N: One of the things I feel is the hardest to write is a romantic relationship. There are so many things you could do and so many that make me discard a fic.

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**Relationships**

Most of the stories here deal with romance of some kind, some more well done than others. However there are some things that are just annoying- though they can be avoided if you pay attention.

**The Pairing **If you are writing a romance it's best if you put the pairing in your summary so that people who don't like that pairing can avoid it and not have a story they liked ruined by a pairing that they don't._ (submitted by G. Novella) _

**Consistency** Your story can start with one pairing and end with another, just make sure you say so. For example, it's annoying to read a story that you think is Harry/Hermione but is really Draco/Hermione especially when the summary says that you're reading a HHr fic. _(submitted by Thunder Krystal)_

**Biology** Now here's a pet-peeve of mine: Mpreg. This goes against everything that is biologically possible in any universe I'm familiar with. Men don't have a uterus so where is the baby going to grow? And _where the hell_ does the baby come out? Not that I really want the answer to the second question. But really, is adoption so far out there? The Potterverse is fond of blood adoption so why can't two guys blood adopt a baby instead of one mysteriously getting pregnant despite the fact that a male cannot produce egg cells? Use basic logic here and try to get The Talk so you understand why Mpreg doesn't work. Finally, is there some unwritten law that states that all pregnant men must become super whimps? (Note that this is not a bash, there are a few Mpreg stories I actually like.)

**Personality** I've noticed that this is a big issue with this in slash stories. To be more specific one guy is described as feminine looking and is a weepy doormat. Honestly it's like a more extreme anime girl. If you have a character who basically looks and acts like a girl and can bare children, just make them a girl. Better yet, give them a personality (this goes for both slash and het) that doesn't involve crying, whispering, and needing their partner to do everything.

**Speed-Dating **When writing a romance people tend to rush to the more serious part of the relationship. Don't do this. There is more to it than that, you have to include all the awkward bits too. Your characters aren't going to fall deeply in love in a week and if they are, check 'em for date rape dugs- I mean love potions.

**Ages** Watch the ages of your characters. Two eleven year olds aren't going to fall deeply in love, nor is it likely for your character to find their true love when they're young. If they do end up with their childhood friend put in a few failed relationships first so the characters can mature. Also make sure the ages of your characters match up to some extent. Please. People don't date others who are old enough to be their parents or grandparents. Pedophilia people, don't encourage this. It is for this reason that I find Harry/Voldemort stories that do not involve time-travel so creepy, Voldemort is around 75 while Harry tends to be 15-17. Ditto for Harry/Severus or Harry/Sirius. this sort of thing is disturbing so try to be careful and somewhat realistic.

**Free For All** When coming up with your pairing make sure it has some basis that was not discovered while you were in fanatic-fan mode. Hermione and Malfoy don't have any sexual tension and neither do Ginny and Snape. Again, try to use common sense and come up with decent reasons for a romance. *_Ragged Mountains is not bashing the two ships in this section but has seen 'sexual tension' as the only reason for romance in fics with these couples.*_

**Forgive and Forget** People in love can be very forgiving of their partners, especially if they think that the other person changed. But this has its limits. There are stories where someone forgives their loved one for cheating, abuse, rape, murder of a family member, and so on. On the chance the person did change, things aren't just going to go back to the way they were before the whatever-it-is happened because of _character development_.

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A/N: Did I miss any that scare you off a story? Disagree with anything I wrote? Think some of these things are okay? Tell me so.


	5. Characters

Character's

The characters are a huge part of the story, as in no characters no story. (I'd like to say the same thing for plot, but looking at some stories...) How your character's act, talk, look, and in OC's cases are written/made can decide wether or not your story is worth reading..

**P.O.V. **If you don't keep the point of view consistent and don't label where it switches, nobody will be able to tell which of your characters is talking. This will lead to extreme confusion because it's impossible to tell what's going on and the switches are jarring. A tip is to just stick to third person point-of-view, there is a smaller margin of error than with say first person. _(submitted by not-so-immortal-witch)_

**Psyche **A stories charactersare people, fake people, but people nonetheless. As such, they must react and act like people. Abused children don't become well adjusted members of society, rape victims will be traumatized, being betrayed by your friends will leave you bitter but not erase your morals, being subject to torture is going to mess you up a little(or a lot), war changes people, it takes a while to forgive someone for breaking your trust, major occurrences between people changes things, and watching a friend die can make it harder to connect to new friends. Look into how certain things affect the average person and use that knowledge in your story. Having characters with realistic reactions improves a story and makes the characters more relatable.

**Maturity** Wether your character is canon or an OC there is an expected amount of maturity with each age group. Eleven year olds are not wise, ten year olds don't make detailed and realistic plans for the future that they can actually carry out at that age, and five year olds are not super-forgiving, generous, philosophical beings. (In most cases at least.)

Canon Characters

This is a fanfiction website, which means stories are based of already existing characters which can make them easier or harder to write.

**Appearance **If your using characters that already exist try to resist the urge to mutate them into someone else. Seriously, they already have an appearance. You can make some changes but it's best to leave them as themselves so they don't become canon!Sues. The fact that most people already know what they look like means you don't have to spend as much time on descriptions as with original characters. Note that you never need to go into detail on clothes for normal occasions. Ever. Really, don't have paragraphs of descriptions.

**Personality **Since your character already has a personality you should stick to it or at least use it as a guideline and if the character in your story is going to be OOC then say so in the summary. This doesn't mean the butterfly effect can't bring about changes in the characters. Character development! Woo hoo!

**Quirks **Everybody has those little quirks, even fictional people. Of course, they can be blown out of proportion like Dumbledore with lemon drops, Remus with chocolate, and Harry with treacle tart. That doesn't mean you can't use them, it's the little details that make the characters seem real.

**Gifts **Characters, especially the main ones, have certain gifts. Nobody wants to hear about a central character who can't do anything and is a total idiot (_right anime_). But you need to stay realistic, characters are not suddenly going to gain gifts despite all the magical inheritance stories that float around.

**Faults **Characters have faults, it's what makes them three dimensional and seem more realistic. Luckily canon characters come with faults so you don't have to make them up! You can change them but don't erase them, then would have created a canon!sue and should expect flames.

**Speech **This part ties in with personality quite a bit and is a little awkward to put into words, but I'll do my best. Characters have a way of speaking and I don't just mean accents, this includes vocabulary as well. For example out of the Trio Hermione will probably uses a higher level language than Ron would and a professor will sound more formal than a student.

OC's

Ah, the original character. With one of these you can, as a writer, create a lifelike person and use your imagination to its fullest. Or you could mess up and make a Mary-Sue. To push this point through I will occasionally compare one of my own OC's to a random Mary-Sue.

**Names **Despite how basic this sounds it can be difficult. First, when choosing a name remember that most people have three names at most, a first, middle, and last name. Second, think of the ethnicity of your character and pick a name to match. Finally pay attention to the time period your character will be in, different times tend to have different names. A normal character name is something like Cathy Summers while a Mary-Sue like name is something along the lines of Emily Rose Etoile Midnight Snape-Black** or some such nonsense. Normal names are better, though they can have special, non-obvious meanings.

**Appearance **One of the other not that complicated yet continuously messed up parts of an OC is their appearance. First, your character is not the coolest thing since bubbles were invented. They shouldn't be gorgeous all the times, this is not a movie. Second, there is a one to two adjective limit per feature when describing your character. Finally, don't go with weird colors that change with the characters mood. For an example I think I shall stick with Cathy the Normal Character and Emily Rose the Sue. Cathy has short blond hair and light blue eyes. She has pale skin that burns easily and is 5'8''. Emily Rose has tiny thin petite body. Her hair flows down to her ankles and is as black as the midnight sky with silver, green, blue, and red colored high-lights in her bangs. Her eyes are like emeralds with flecks of silver, red, and black in them.***

**Personality **Your character should have a three dimensional personality. They should have their own unique reactions to personalities and have their own opinions. They should not, under any circumstance, angst about everything. However they should break down sometimes, they are only human (Or elf, or werewolf, or veela, or whatever). The character should not forgive everything and cannot be a trembling doll all the time.

**Faults **No character is perfect, but if yours is it had better be mocking a Mary-Sue or the flamers will descend upon you with the wrath of a thousand angry fan-girls. Have your character have a bad temper and yell at those who don't deserve it, a case of acne, frizzy hair when it's humid, overly impulsive personality, be rude, or always forget things. The point is, there should be something negative about your character. (Convenient clumsiness is not a fault)

**Gifts **Ah gifts, the part where an author tests their self control. Since what is normally an okay gift is harder to think of, we'll go over the more sue-ish ones. Major wand-less magic is a no-no, some minor spells would be okay but not a full package deal here. Beast-speaking does not exist, the closest is parseltongue and it's off limits as well for family reasons, any kind of special fairy or elf power just screams Mary-Sue, and so do more-advanced-than-the-main-character-powers. What that last one means is no patroni at twelve and your character should have to work for their skills. Be _sparing_ with the handouts. Just remember that no matter how hard your character works, they will not be good at everything.

**Backstory**

**1) **Family: Your OCshould never be head/heir of more than 2 Ancient Houses. Your HP OC shouldn't be related to: a)Merlin Emrys b)Morgana c)Any of the Founder's Four d)A Potter, especially is it's a sister e)An Evans d) A Malfoy e)A Snape, particularly any daughters f)Dumbledore g)Voldemort h)The Three Brothers of the Deathly Hallows i)Any kind of fairy or elf.

Angsty-ness: Your character doesn't have to have a past of rainbows or butterflies but they shouldn't be an orphan who get beaten daily and was molested as a child.

Timeline: Pay attention to what happens when. Your twelve year old isn't going to lose the love of their life and a five year old isn't going to be responsible for small children.

**Over Used OC's-** Voldemort's daughter, Harry's sister, Any well known characters's lost kid, transfer student, and anyone's sister.

**No offense is meant to anybody with one or two of those names.

***This is more or less copied from a true Mary-Sue story.


	6. Clichés Part 1

A/N: Forgive me for being late! This is part 1 of 2-3 on clichés, there are just so many.

A/N 2: I had it pointed out that I made a few errors in this chapter and I'm avoiding other things so I decided to fix them right away!

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Cliché's- Part 1

Most people have used a cliché or two at some point, but by now they're so overused that I've made a list of all the one's that I could think of.

**Heir!Harry** This normally takes place after OotP and follows this general formula with a few possible deviations: Harry goes to a will reading and the Goblins decide to give him a blood test, just to see if he's related to any other family's or Sirius said to. As it turns out Harry is a descendant of anyone and everyone from Merlin to the Founders to the Black's or any other powerful family. Surprise, surprise Harry is filthy rich with tons of properties, Hogwarts, seats on the Wizengamot, castles, and possibly some marriage contracts too!

**Nice!Goblins** Since wizards all treat goblins like dirt, treating them with respect and remembering their name (normally Griphook) makes them as happy and helpful as a house-elf! This, of course, defies the fact that in DH Griphook turns out to be a double-crossing little bastard. He's just misunderstood!

**Neglectful!Lily/James** This is almost always a Wrong Boy Who Lived, whether the 'BWL' is older or younger than Harry. Now for some reason Lily and James become so tied up in fame that they turn in to horrible people. They make poor Harry sleep in a bare room or the basement, he has to clean the house, look after little Rosie (his younger sister who Lily and James adore against all previously established logic), cook the food, and sometimes beat/crucio him. Though occasionally they just ignore him and don't buy him anything ever. Later on, before or after they realize that Harry is the true BWL, Lily will be redeemed. Rarely does James turn good.

b. On a side note Sirius and Remus either become parent figures, or just one of them does, for Harry. Of course one or both could just ignore him.

**Twin!Harry** Harry's twin is proclaimed the BWL and spoiled rotten. The twin becomes a glory-hogging douchebag while the parental units spoil him/her and neglect/abuse Harry. This makes Harry angry and bitter because everyone's being mean to him, so he either does nothing or becomes super strong and might even turn into Dark!Harry.

**Reading the Books** There are plenty of these stories, even if very few authors finish the series (or even a full book). Most often the books are sent by the future characters, given to Umbridge to 'expose the lies', or appear before the Tri-Wizard competition so students could 'get to know the champions'.

b. Dursley's Harry acts all super embarrassed by the Dursley's, which I can understand. But when asked why he never mentioned he slept in a cupboard he never says something like, "I never said anything because I had moved out of it before coming to Hogwarts and since I have to stay there so I'm not killed by Deatheaters you couldn't do anything about something that was already over with. Besides, in first year I hadn't known any of you long enough to tell you." If this is a Fem!Harry story she will most likely cry because the Dursley's also beat and raped her regularly.

c. Even though Harry is normally sitting in the room people get all tense thinking that he is going to die. I can understand this as it gets pretty intense, but I would love a story where at some point Harry jumps up and shouts, "Boo! But really, calm down everybody. I'm standing right here and last time I checked I am very much not dead."

d. When reading with a girl!Harry people forget to change all the 'he's' to 'she's' and change the name to whatever Harry's new name is. Be diligent people.

**Jealous!Ron** Ron is, at some points, jealous and generally annoying. But he always comes back. I'm not sure why this is, but people seem to love to hate Ron and make him a jealous moron with no skills of any kind.

**Abusive!Dursley's** Everybody hates, or at least dislikes, the Dursley's. They were horrible and neglectful people but Harry never shows signs of abuse, especially to the level of some writers. Harry did not receive weekly/daily beatings, he was never raped, he has not been disfigured, pushed out of a window, left to starve, whipped, ran over by a car, mauled by wild dogs, or chained up for a month. Yes, Dudley and freinds did beat Harry up (Harry Hunting) but that is bullying. There is a difference between abuse and neglect and at most Harry hovered on this line.

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A/N: Do you want to know what is awesome? Reviews!


	7. Clichés Part 2

**A/N: It's been a while, but it's finials season so do not expect regular updates. Though, this chapter was supposed to be up quite a bit sooner, it's not my fault though! I had the file open with a big list of clichés and half of them were done but I hadn't saved it. In protest of who knows what my computer made Pages (I have a mac) quit without saving anything. So if you suggested one of these and I don't say so, know that I had it all recorded on the original but that was deleted and I keep my inbox relatively empty so many a email has been deleted. Sorry.**

***At no point am I trying to offend anyone. i simply aim to point out the overused plot-type things that run rampent through Harry Potter fanfiction. I'll admit that I have read some stories with these clichés and liked them. But try to be original.***

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**Azkaban!Harry **This covers any story where Harry is chucked in Azkaban, normally after fourth year, fifth year, or after he kills Voldemort. The general plot uses the following formula: Harry is betrayed by all and thrown in prison, the only people allowed to support him are his One True Love, the Twins, or Luna Lovegood. Harry will either discover that he is the Lord of Azkaban or escapes to bring vengeance upon those who have betrayed him. When people realize that they need Harry to defeat Voldemort they proceed to try to control him or kiss-up to him. The end.

**Super-Awesome-Cool-Trunk** This cliché normally is found in a Heir!Harry or a Manipulative!Dumbledore. This is any story in which Harry gets a trunk that has a bedroom, a bathroom, a kitchen, Narnia, a dueling room, a portal to Middle Earth, an armory, a ball pit, a library, light-saber storage room, a potions lab, an amusement park, an armory, fighter jets, founders portraits, spaceships, vaults, or Puff the Magic Dragon.

**Harry Turns Into a Girl** I believe this topic was briefly addressed when I went over Girl!Harry stories, but now I shall go more in-depth. This type of fanfic has Harry either turning into a girl from some weird potion or spell or Harry discovering that he has really been a she, just disguised as a boy. Harry then falls in love with a male character of the author's choice. For some reason that escapes me, spontaneously changing genders does not cause... Harriet? to have a massive identity crisis or confusion over his? her? sexuality. His/Her friends are not confused what so ever by this change and Harry? Harriet's? love interest experiences no conflicting emotions over the fact that she was a he. (I apologize for any pronoun confusion in this section.

**Marriage Laws **Marriage laws are a way for writers to put together couples that are extremely non-canon with no plot or extreme effort. Honestly, I find it highly unlikely that Wizarding Britain would go along with something as amazingly stupid as marriage laws. For example these laws always seem to come into effect right after the War. After a war the government will have bigger and more important things to do that mess up people's love lives. To be honest, I just skip anything with marriage laws because they just get so repetitive.

**The Ball **More specifically, The Random Ball That Is Not The Yule Ball. As far as we know, the only ball in Hogwarts takes place in Harry's fourth year because of the Tri-but-not-really-wizard tournament. This is basically the same thing as a marriage law, a plot device to farther romance without any originality. It provides cheesy lines, mini-clichés, and sexual tension. The Random Ball That Is Not The Yule Ball shows up disturbingly often in Marauder Era fics.

**Manipulative!Dumbledore** It seems to be one of the most popular things in the history of ever to make Dumbledore more diabolical than Voldemort and a bigger backstabber than Peter 'the filthy rat who we all hate' Pettigrew. Now while I will admit that Dumbledore can come off as a little manipulative, he always had good intentions and was not trying to rule the world, take over Harry's fortune, control other peoples magical talent, murder people, help the Dark, or kidnap children. Come on people! Dumbledore was like a super-powerful, twinkly, candy loving grandfather.

**Magical or Cool Pet **Not the most common cliché and most often goes along with a Twin!Harry or a Fem!Harry. Harry does not have a dragon, demon, basilisk, keese, phoenix, fire lizard, nundu, pokémon, grim, kitty, unicorn, wolf, big cat, cyborg, or any combination of the above. Harry has one pet and that is Hedwig. Forget One True Love, Hedwig is Harry's One True Pet.

**Time Travel** Either a character from Harry's generation goes to the Marauders, a Next Generation kid goes to Harry's generation, or a reading the books story. While this is not the most annoying thing to see, it is extremely overdone and should really be laid to rest. Anyway beyond a time turner, which goes back by the hour, there is no way to travel through time. In these stories time travel is a result of the ritual, a magical accident, the author's say-so, or a broken time-turner. I find that last reason the most annoying as we are shown what happens when a time-turner breaks in OotP, go and read about Mr. I-have-a-baby's-head.

**Older Sibling of Harry** Harry seems to have a lot of mysterious older siblings- especially in crossovers. Lilly and James married and had Harry rather young, what with a war going on and all, so there is no older sibling of Harry's. One of these mysterious relations appearing has caused me to abandon quite a few stories because they all get so repetitive from there.

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**A/N:** **Review! Give me more clich****és or things that you hate seeing in fanfiction! Point out my grammar problems! Shout at me for taking so long! Just leave me a review!**


	8. Clichés Part 3

A/N: This is my last update for a while because I'm entering finals week.

*At no point am I trying to offend anyone. I simply aim to point out the overused plot-type things that run rampent through Harry Potter fanfiction. I'll admit that I have read some stories with these clichés and liked them so I am being a bit hypocritical. But really people, try to be original.*

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**Heads Share a Room** A plot device used to create romance by forcing two characters to live with each other, this is often seen with Dramione. I have never been to a boarding school but I don't think that they would let a boy and girl live together in the same rooms with no supervision, if you want the heads to have a special dorm it could be a subsection of the dorms in their house.

**Truth or Dare** Another romantic plot device where a group of any characters get together to play truth or dare for whatever reason. In many of there stories you will find Gryffindors and Slytherins play this game together even though it seems weird to do any game that involves dares with a group of people who would enjoy your humiliation. This often results in Drarry.

**Creature!Harry **In which Harry is some type of magical creature, not including anything to do with animagus forms. Slash seems to be popular with this and it generally is Snarry, Drarry, or Harry/OC. This entire idea is impossible because Lily was a muggleborn and therefore has no magical background and James was a pureblood, meaning he came from a long line of witches and wizards.

**Mate!Harry** When Harry is paired up with a character who happens to (somehow) be a magical creature and may or may not be a magical creature himself. This is commonly a slash pairing where Harry is extremely feminine but not a girl, submissive, angsty, cries easily, and was badly abused at the Dursley's.

**Veela!Draco** A story where Draco is a veela no matter how logically impossible it is. But who needs logic when Veela!Draco exists to make unrealistic relationships come to life! Let's look at the problems with a veela version of our favorite ferret: He is a big supporter of blood purity and would be shamed or having anything less, his mother is a Black and if one of them is a veela (considering most of them are insane blood purists) I'm Merlin, his father is a Malfoy and major blood purist, and we are never introduced to a male veela so they might not exist and if they do they could be normal people with a recessive gene for all we know. Not to mention this kind of story often involves a life-mate despite there never ever being any indication of such a thing existing anywhere ever.

**The Great Redo** When an author takes new characters that might be Sues or slightly changes the canon characters and redoes all or some of the books, an example is any major event from the end of one of the books. We've all read the books and retyping them is not original, it's just tedious to do and to read. _(submitted by __Rumour of an Alchemist)_

**Makeover Time** While I will admit that puberty worked wonders on the Harry Potter cast (really, find a picture that shows them during the first movie and the last) there are a disturbing number of fics that have characters suddenly becoming models.

a. Hermione suddenly becomes the most beautiful girl in Hoggy Warty Hogwarts far too often. She gets perfect curly hair (_not_ bushy), clear skin, gorgeous eyes, perfect teeth, a genius level I.Q., and ends up as a Hermione-Sue._ (submitted by: G. Novella, rheana, Thunder Krystal, and a few others)_

b. Often, Harry becomes extremely buff from either Quidditch or running over the summer(s). I do not see how you can get in shape from riding a broom that hovers in midair unless your team captain has insane practices every day- which makes some sense but we never hear about anything like that and over the summer I think Harry would have trouble getting in shape with the whole Dursley's-not-really-feeding-him-properly, but what do I know?

c. Another common appearance changer is Draco. This is never explained because the person he is being paired with tends to just notices how amazing he looks one day.

**Orbs vs. Eyes **Well this isn't a true cliché but I've seen it so much that I decided to give it its own entry. In many-a-story eyes are described as {insert adj. here} orbs. Now, I can't speak for everyone else, but this makes me picture creepy glass eyes or crystal balls in peoples eye sockets. All in all it doesn't seem to be something deep, romantic, or meaningful.

**Harry's Younger Sibling **A bit more rare than Harry having an older sibling (Please note that this is assuming that the timeline runs the same with Lily and James dying) but just as unlikely. Harry is a little over one year old when his parents are killed- for the sake of this argument we will pretend he was 18 months old, or a year and a half. Now when you have a new baby the last thing that you will do for the first 7-9 months is thinking about another child because you are to busy being sleep deprived, leaving us with about 11-9 months left. Now sometime in this time period Lilly and James either learned that they had to go into hiding or were involved with the war- they are not likely to want to deal with a new baby on top of a toddler and Voldemort gunning for their family. Say after a few months of hiding they have an 'accident' causing Lily to get pregnant. By now there is not enough time for a baby to be born so a pregnant Lily would die, which is more depressing than what happens originally.

**Soul Bond/Life Debt **While these two things are different they are fundamentally similar and used for the same thing in most cases, or even connected to each other so I decided to lump them together. Basically two people get bonded for one reason or another, such as saving their life which will either awaken the soul-bond or activate a life-debt, and once a reason from romance is established between a) a couple of eleven year olds or b) two characters who would never be together, the normal fanfiction romance plot-line is followed with various amounts of angst and originality thrown in. _(submitted by: G. Novella)_

**A Deatheaters Daughter **In which Hermione is really the daughter of Bellatrix Lestrange, Snape, Voldemort, some other Deatheater, or a combination of the above. This is completely impossible because Hermione is a muggleborn and so she has no magical ancestors. You can find this in stories that have a Dark!Harry or when Hermione is being paired of with a Deatheater either her age or older.

**Purity **More or less a broader version of A Deatheaters Daughter. Hermione is a muggleborn and has no squib relatives, she was not adopted, her parents are not secretly wizards, and she has NO pure-blooded magical family, wether they be light, orange, dark, blue, neutral, or pink.

**Chess and Snacks** Since Ron seems to be everybody's favorite Weasley to bash there are many stories where he is incapable of anything but eating food with extremely poor table manners and playing chess. Ron is a little lazy and there were two times in seven years that he wasn't a very good friend. However, he is a decent tactician, brave when he needs to be, normally a good friend, and average at magic.

**The Great Mistake** Where Hermione and Ron are dating but either Ron does something totally unrealistic, such as becoming abusive or cheating, or they fall apart and have a bad break up for one reason or another and drives Hermione right into the arms of her new boyfriend. Common pairings where this cliché appears are Dramione, Snape/Hermione, or Harry/Hermione. _(submitted by __Moixxx and rheana)_

**Fifth House **When Harry is sorted into the never-before-seen fifth house of Hogwarts along with some older students that the Hat sticks with him and some already sorted Firsties who couldn't go into the fifth house right away for Harry had to be the first. Do I even have to say why this is impossible? Hogwarts was founded by Godric Gryffindor, Helga Hufflepuff, Rowena Ravenclaw, and Salazar Slytherin and named their houses Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin accordingly. There is no 'fifth founder' and their is no fifth house.

**What's in a name?** Quite like 'Orbs vs. Eyes' this is not a true cliché but comes up often enough that it deserves a mention: The nicknaming of characters. Hermione is not 'mione, Sirius has never been Siri or Paddy, Snape is not Sevy, Dumbledore is not Dumbles or any other insulting name, James was not Prongsie, and Voldemort is not Voldy.

A/N: I think that this is my last cliché chapter, after all I did say I would do 2-3 and this makes 3. I also think that this is the end of this fic as I'm working on something else as of now.


	9. Attention!

Hey!

I love the response to this post and I like the original idea but I'm not to fond of the 'story' its self.

Since I've originally posted this people have submitted several more ideas that need to be added and I've realized that this is poorly written. So I'm revamping and reposting it, I have a proofreader (RandomWolf121) and everything.

I don't know when I'll have the first chapter up by, but it should be soon, so keep an eye out!

Also if you have an idea that's not currently included now is the prime time to send them since I'm rewriting everything and including some new chapters (ex: A glossary of FF (Harry Potter, mostly) terms).

Thank you!


	10. it's up!

As of now the first chapter of the redo is up!

The title is 'What Not To Do In Fan-fiction: 2.0'


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